Lessons Learned

Camping in wet weather really tests your commitment to the cause, once everything you own is damp, your camper floor resembles the ground outside and the inside of your camping abode looks like a domestic explosion that holiday house starts looking really attractive. Having said that, good wine, good company and great food can make all the difference and there is never a shortage of those key ingredients when we camp – even during a deluge. So what did we find out on the wet dry run:

* The wife needs to become ‘more useful’ during setup
* The husband needs to learn more about women and how to motivate them
* If we ever get divorced it will be because of setting up our camper – maybe I do need to become more useful
* We need smaller wine glasses, those buckets we have currently just set me up for trouble
* When there are a bunch of small kids with you going to the amenities is a team sport
* Our camper is actually water proof – provided you zip up the windows and close the air vent!
* Small children and wet weather make for a lot of noise – remember to pack ear plugs
* Don’t sit in your camp chair if it’s been left under the awning on a rainy night, nothing like walking around in soggy shorts
* Kids love muddy puddles more than iPads, thank goodness.

So nothing terribly useful about our actual camp setup, other than we are water proof and may need marriage counselling after setting up a billion times in six months – next dry run is occurring in our drive way, with the sun shining!

The Very Wet Dry Run

So the dry run for the trip has turned into a very, very wet run – although that hasn’t stopped the feral pack of kids having a good time in the mud! There’s been some discussion around our living arrangements for the six months so here’s a sneak preview:

Setting up is still being fine tuned, to quote my apparently much more organized other half “it will be quicker as you become more useful”. Hmmm – you think he’d know better after 11 years of marriage.

We may be homeless soon but there are a few necessities coming with:
Coffee Machine (husband)

Juicer (wife)

Pizza in the Weber Q (kids) but not the beer!

There is probably a distinct food theme developing here, wait until the Thermomix makes an appearance..

Bull Ants & Bottoms

We haven’t left yet, however this weekend is our last ‘dry run’ before departure and so is technically part of our preparation. I did promise to faithfully chronicle all misadventures on this trip (and preparation for it), I just can’t believe I have one to report on already – or that it involves me!

Looking forward to a last weekend away at Mooloolaba with some of our best camping buddies, strike one, pouring with rain. Never mind, last time we were supposed to go away there was a cyclone, so a bit of rain is no biggie.

So in pouring rain, in peak motorway traffic nowhere near an exit or any form of amenities we get the statement that all parents dread – “mummy I need a poo”. Every parent has been there but to date we’ve only had to deal with the road side wee so this is a little more challenging.

After 10 minutes of pleading with her to “just hang on a bit longer” and getting constant status reports it became evident from her seat gymnastics that our time was up. I will spare all readers the details that followed (particular the childless among us who may not have the same level of casual discussion around bodily functions!!)

Attempting to protect my four year olds modesty on the side of the Sunshine Motorway was tricky but with two doors open and me in front of her in a long summer dress that acted a bit like a tent I think we spared her and passing motorists too much embarrassment.

Once we had all recovered from the indignity of the whole experience we rejoined the motorway car park for the final stretch to Mooloolaba – ordeal over or so I thought. Two minutes after hitting the road something bit my foot and I flicked a massive black ant off my foot with a bit of controlled child friendly expletives- but it didn’t stop there. Next there was a bite on my leg which hurt quite a bit, then my back and final insult inner thigh.

By now I’m lifting my entire dress up to my ears attempting to find the offending insects (apologies to passing truck drivers!) using less child friendly expletives and performing my own version of seat gymnastic

It dawned on me as I got out of the car at the caravan park and shook three more aggressive little black creatures from my dress that as I protected my child’s cute little bottom from passing traffic that the ants must have climbed up the hem of my dress (aka modesty screen) and been carried back into the car where they made their displeasure with their new accommodations clearly known!!

Finally with the camper setup (that’s a whole other blog post!!!!) and a very large wine in my hand I can laugh at the indignity of the whole experience but sincerely hope the next few blog posts are a lot less eventful – and a lot less painful !!!!!!!


We have almost three weeks until we leave and yet it feels like we’re never going to go – despite a house full of boxes, a husband cranky from non-stop trailer and car modifications (not to mention being a super organised house husband!) Maybe it’s just me that feels that way seeing as I’m working while all this is going on around me? Anyway, the countdown is on nonetheless – we only have three billion things to achieve, as the saying goes, “she’ll be right on the night” – or in our case, in the extremely early morning that we depart Brisbane in four weeks time….